Critical Age... I am feeling to old... And perhaps I am ?

Fearsome, awesome -
Too late to change ! -
You've come for me also,
My critical age ! - ?


No weakling am I,
Yet I don't feel good.
Am I heading right ?
Do I live as I should ?


I've lost my sleep,
My appetite, too.
I'm indebted to all,
But what can I do ?


Like a stump on a meadow
Or a shadow on snow,
Or a grey rock showing
when tides are low...


Whose heart have I softened,
To whom stretched a hand ?
Whose pain did I soothe
Or at least understand ?


Who did I bring joy
Or console in old age ?
To whom did I show
The one true way ?


I'm indebted to all,
Yet what can I do ?
I could help a lot,
But I'm helpless too.


From grief I've escaped,
I've escaped from ill health,
From very death,
But not from myself.