Extraordinary... The big block - I found it years afterwards in a corner of my yard in sunlight after rain...

Critical Age

Fearsome, awesome...
Too late to change !...
You've come for me also,
My critical age !

No weakling am I
Yet I don't feel good.
Am I heading right ?
Do I live as I should ?

I've lost my sleep,
My appetite, too life.
I'm indebted to all,
But what can I do ?

Like a stump on a meadow
Or a shadow on snow,
Or a grey rock showing
When tides are low...

Whose heart have I softened,
To whom stretched a hand ?
Whose pain did i Soothe
Or at least understand ?

I'm indebted to all,
Yet what can I do ?
I could help a lot,
But I'm helpless too.

From grief I've escaped,
I've escaped from ill health,
I hope,
From very death,
But not from myself.

Is this me ?
I don't know...